I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
