somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i believe in u and ur pee
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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