so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
