I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
