Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's shark week go big or go home
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
