AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
