There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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