Having a random hookup so left but love u
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
a search helicopter?!
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
