forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
