Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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