Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
