I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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