508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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