my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
