physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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