Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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