i think my mom watched the whole time
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
