I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
