Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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