It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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