Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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