Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
