She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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