After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize