Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
