i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
