I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
