I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
