you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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