Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
sex in a hospital.. check
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
