pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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