So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
