I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize