He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
