Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
