In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
