i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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