ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
