the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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