Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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