as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
