i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
