Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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