did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
