I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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