so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
The Olympian is in my bed
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
