if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Your dad touched me again.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
