Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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