My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
we're so committed to being not committed
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