You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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