This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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