Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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