Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
