Nicole vs. Life
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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