i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
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a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
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You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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