yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize