and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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