Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
