I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
if only i could text you this smell
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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